


Hell and Back, Just to Feel

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey, the GazettE
Genre: Alcohol, Anal, Angst, Double Penetration, Explicit Language, Fingerfucking, Fluff, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-31
Updated: 2008-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a trail of me left scattered across the years. Little fragments of who I once was, left fluttering the winds of time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 50stories 038: Separation  
> Reita POV  
> Song: "No Saving Me" by Walls of Jericho

It's quiet now, just as it has been for the past four months. Four months I've spent locked away from the rest of the world, holed up in this little apartment I used to call home. I stopped calling it that the day you walked out of my life.

I still remember that last night we spent together, the look in your eyes and the tears running down your face as you told me that you'd fallen in love with someone else. I forced you into saying it was a trial separation and nothing more. It's not at all what you wanted to hear, but you agreed when I broke down at your feet.

Such a shameless way to keep someone in your life. And yet... you're not even here. I didn't keep you at all. Instead, I kept a lie deep inside my mind, covering the truth to make sure I could survive life without you.

I just can't believe I threw away four years of my life, following you and loving you no matter what you did in your spare time. I'm far from blind, though you seemed to think I was. I watched you as you'd walk away with a new girl on your arm every night. I watched from the shadows as you failed to be discreet with your actions. What's sad is that you didn't watch as my heart fell and bled out at your feet.

I wanted to put you out of my mind, but I couldn't. I tried to end everything with you before it ever really started. I knew from day one, I was just another lay for you. But I stood tall and shoved my fake blinders into place, showing the world I was strong enough to stand by your side, unaffected by your actions. But in truth, every time I watched you do what you did, I lost a little piece of myself along the way.

There's a trail of me left scattered across the years. Little fragments of who I once was, left fluttering the winds of time.

A loud knock sounds upon my door and I just close my eyes and pray whoever it is this time goes away. I've had enough of people coming around to try and cheer me up. Every call is another invitation to go out clubbing or shopping. Every knock on my door is another person standing there to try and pull me from my misery. But what they don't understand is that I want to be like this. I want to be miserable and hateful until I get you back.

It sounds stupid... pathetic even. But some little part of me says if I'm stubborn enough, you'll come back to me. If I wait long enough, you'll get tired of this new-found love and come back for a piece of the old.

My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket and I reach in, digging it out and staring annoyed at a number I don't recognize. Just before it cuts to voicemail, I answer, my voice hoarse from lack of use. "Who is this?"

"... Swear you won't hang up when you find out."

I pause, recognizing the voice, but not quite able to place it. I shrug, figuring a phone call can't hurt me anymore than I already have been hurt. "Fine, I won't hang up."

"This is Kyo."

My breath sticks in my throat and anger wells up inside me. "What the hell do you want?"

"I... I really need to talk to you, Reita. Please. It's about Die."

"I don't even want to think about the fact that you exist, much less about you and _him_." I sound like a total bastard. And I know it. But I won't change, not for the little fuck-twit that took the love of my life away from me.

"Reita... I'm begging you. You really do want to hear what I have to say." His voice shakes and I wonder if I'm losing my mind.

"Fine, so say it."

"Please open the door." He hangs up before I have a chance to protest and I grudgingly push myself up and walk to the door. I glare at it, hating the fact that he's standing on the other side. Finally, I can't put it off any longer, as he's knocking almost frantically, calling my name through the thick wood.

I yank the door open and glare at him as I step aside to let him in. He bows slightly and enters, quickly taking off his shoes and slipping on my guest slippers. I make a mental note to burn that pair, lest he contaminate me or any guest I may actually want in the future.

I turn away and head into the living room. I stand there and then sit in the middle of the floor rather than on any seat I own, hoping he'll follow suit and not leave his memory on my things.

He sits in front of me, crossing his legs and just sitting there silently for the longest time. It starts to drive me crazy and I finally snap at him, forcing him to open his mouth and pour his heart out.

"Get the fuck on with it. I don't have all day."

He sighs and shakes his head. "Reita... from what I'm hearing, all you have is time. You're not even showing up to practice anymore. Die's called you so many times he's lost count and you never answer. Your band mates are worried about you... not just because of practice, but they're worried for your health." He doesn't say it, but I can almost feel that he means something besides my physical health. His eyes flick up to mine and I glare hard at him and turn away.

"What business is it of yours? You're not my keeper or something. In fact, you should be pleased I'm sitting on my ass rotting into nothingness." I glance back at him, just to see what I expect on his face. But instead I find a horrified look, full of confusion and hurt.

"Of course it's my business! You're Die's best friend! He lived with you for, what... three years? How can I ignore that he's worried out of his mind?" Kyo looks flustered, like he's losing his mind right in front of me.

Part of me wants to laugh, but the other part knows that'd be far more rude than I could ever blatantly be. Instead I snort loudly and let out a bitter laugh. "Right... best friend. Is that what he's told you?"

Kyo stares at me, confusion in his eyes and it hits me that he doesn't even know why I'm treating him like shit, why I hate him down to the deepest fibers of my being. I look away, my eyes eating holes into the opposite wall. My voice is hurt, soft and breaking, when I manage to find it again. "I... he told you we were friends?"

" _Are_... and have been for years. Why? What happened?" He looks concerned as he reaches a hand out to me.

I pull away, not wanting him to touch me. "Friends... I see." I slowly shake my head. "I guess I know how much I ever meant to him, then." I draw my knees up to my chest and rest my head on them. I'm silent for so long that he actually moves closer to me, his body inches from mine. I can feel his breath shift my hair and the feeling of someone so close brings up memories I don't want. Tears well up in my eyes and begin the long trek down my cheeks. "We... he was my boyfriend. Four years, we lived and breathed the same life. And all he gives me credit for is being his friend."

Kyo's hand comes to rest on my arm and he makes a sort of strangled sound before actually speaking. "I didn't know. He never said a word about you two being anything remotely more than friends. I just thought you roomed together for the sake of the cost. I..." he trails off and I can't help the sob that leaves my throat.

"He left me... for you." I let it hang in the air - the harsh reality of it drilling away at the both of us.

Kyo's grip tightens on me and then his arms are around me. "Fucking hell, Reita. Did he actually say he left you for me?"

I nod, the motion tense. "He told me he fell in love with someone else. I took a shot in the dark, guessing it was you and he didn't deny it. He moved out of here and in with you... didn't he?"

The older man pulls away and forces me to look at him. His eyes burn into mine and then he closes them, looking away. "If I'd known he was breaking you to be with me, I'd never have allowed it. I'd never have said a word about wanting more than friendship. But he never said he was with anyone." His mood has shifted and I can actually feel his presence crackling in the air around me. It warms me and envelops me, just as Die's aura used to.

We're silent for a good twenty minutes and then I can't hold it in anymore. "I hated you for taking him from me. I thought you did it on purpose, knowing how I felt... feel, about him. He broke me when he left that night. And worse, I forced him to promise it was just a separation, not an actual break up." I almost strangle on the last few words.

Kyo tenses beside me and then he lets out a low growl as he yanks his cell phone from his jacket pocket. "That fuck-shit!" He dials quickly and before I can even think that I should stop him, the other end of the line is already answered. It's quiet enough I can hear both sides of the conversation, so I just sit and listen.

"Hey, Kyo. Did you-"

"Stop right there and hold it. You lied to me!"

"What?"

"You lied! You told me there wasn't anyone else, Daisuke! You told me you loved me and that I was the only one. You fucking lied and then you catch yourself in the middle of it, having me come over here to see if Reita, _your friend_ , is alright. But, hey, guess the fuck what? Your _boyfriend_ is _not_ okay. He's a fucking mess and all because of you."

"Kyo, baby, I didn't lie! I broke up with him before I ever came to you."

"No, you separated. There's a huge fucking difference between that and breaking up! Separation means you try someone else out and end up back together with the first person eventually. Breaking up means you told him you were leaving and not coming back. And you tell the _third_ person that you're only separated from your lover! Not tell them they're the only one, the one you love and want to be with forever!"

Kyo's pissed. He's radiating his anger. It's actually almost painful to me - sitting this close and feeling his presence consume me. He takes me right along with him and I'm just as angry at Die, for the same reasons Kyo is. And somehow, I'm mad for Kyo, not for me.

"Kyo... please calm down. I meant everything I said to you. Reita made me promise it was just a separation. I... how the hell was I supposed to walk out on the man I'd been with for four years and just leave him broken behind me?"

Kyo laughs, but it's not a nice sound. "Well, you left him in pieces anyway. If you could only see him now. I came over here because I was worried about him, and I've never even fucking met him! What did you do? Try to call a few times. What kind of effort is that? You could have at least told him the truth and set him free, but instead you left him tied to you and breaking apart in your wake."

"I didn't want it to end like that, really I didn't. I just... fuck, Kyo! I'd been in love with you since I met you! He... he was what I settled for. But when you said you wanted to be with me, what was I supposed to do? Throw that chance away? Throw away everything I ever wanted? Hell no!"

Kyo's eyes meet mine and I can see the angry tears there. His voice is shaking when he responds and what he says is not at all what I thought it would be. "You're an asshole, Die. You already had someone, someone who would have given you their life if you asked for it. And you just walked away from them... for what? For me? For something that wasn't even a definite? I can't even believe you'd do that."

Die doesn't respond and eventually Kyo just whispers one final thing and then hangs up the phone, turning it off as he does. "He heard everything you said."

I look away and try not to feel as hurt and betrayed as I really do. Kyo leans over and slides his arm around my waist, holding me tight. It takes a while, but I eventually lean my head on his shoulder and turn toward him, seeking the comfort he's willing to give me.

The time passes by and eventually he speaks again, sounding almost scared to talk after all that's passed between us. "I... I might have a solution that can fit all of us. I know it's not ideal, but it's all I can think of." He pauses long enough for me to move and look him in the face. He studies me for a moment and then nods. "There's two solutions. One, I break up with him for lying to me. But the downside is that then we're all miserable. Personally, I think the other option, while less... traditional, could work if we all give it the effort. You and Die were together first, for so long. Then Die left you for me because he claims he loved me for longer than he ever even knew you, all because I said I'd like to give it a shot with him. When I'm honest with myself..." he bites his lip for a moment, sliding the flesh between his teeth and then letting it slip free, "I'm in love with him. I don't think there's any question that you're still in love with him. To me, that leaves only one option."

He watches me, searching for something in my eyes and I can't quite fathom what he could possibly want to find there. But he must find it because he smiles and then leans in, letting his lips gently brush over mine. Something forces me to stay still, not to pull back or push him away. His lips linger for a moment longer and then he pulls away, smiling at me from under the fringe of his blonde hair. "One solution. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

I blink at him in confusion, my forehead wrinkling to show that I'm lost.

"The three of us, all together. If we make it work, it can. What do you think? I'm game, and I'm sure Die will be."

My heartbeat speeds up and I stare at him as though he's lost his mind. "You're kidding."

He shakes his head violently. "Nope, not kidding. I really think we could do this. And then none of us will end up hurt."

I feel like I'm floating in a world that's not quite the one I started out in. It's like something has shifted around me... around us and it takes me a minute to understand that something _has_ changed. Kyo's aura isn't this imposing force that's trying to strangle out anything around it anymore. Instead, I feel comforted by it, like a child safely wrapped in his mother's arms. I offer him the best smile I have, knowing it's not quite adequate, but also knowing that he'll understand why - that he'll see that I'm still not completely put back together yet.

He moves nearer to me again, his arms holding me close and I allow him to pull me until I'm settled between his legs and leaning against his chest. It's odd how well we fit together like this. Even though he's shorter than I am, his presence is so much more than mine that it only makes sense like this. And just like that, I somehow understand that it's him that I belong to. I am his, just as he is Die's. He is the line between the man I love and myself. Such a fragile connection, but an obviously necessary one.

Slowly the tension of all these months slips from me and I'm left feeling tired. I close my eyes and intend to only rest for a moment. But when I open them again, the light is seeping in from my East-facing window. Night has come and gone and he's still here with me, holding me close.

I move a little and his voice instantly stills me. "Morning, Rei..." His voice is rough from lack of use and it makes me smile ever so slightly. It ignites something in me and I know this is where I belong. With him... with them.

"Morning... did you really mean all of that last night?" I can't keep the question back; I need to know.

"I did... and Die has agreed as well." He holds his cell phone in front of me so that I can see the screen and pushes a few buttons. I can see Die's message in reply to something Kyo sent, typed smoothly across the bright screen.

_If you think we can all do this, then yes, it'd be best that we're all three together, that no one's left out. I never meant to hurt him... I really didn't. And it hurts to know that I did. You should know better than anyone that if I allowed myself to cry when I left him, I do have feelings for him as well. I just... I don't know, Kyo... I couldn't let you slip away. I wish things didn't have to go down the way they did. I wish I'd reacted differently. But maybe I was meant to do all of that just for the three of us to come together. It's late and we have practice in the morning. Get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow... maybe both of you._

I blink down at the screen. I want so badly to think he could even possibly love me. But I know where his heart is and it's not with me. It's buried in the man behind me, just as my heart is lodged deep within Die. A chill runs through me and I shiver.

Kyo flips the phone shut and puts it back in his pocket, pulling me closer to him. "I know it won't be easy, but hell... I don't think this has been easy on you anyway. I will put in my best efforts and I pray both of you will as well."

"I will. I swear I will. And..." I'm unsure if I should continue my thought, but I push it out anyway, vowing to myself to not keep anything from the man who's so generously sharing his lover with me, "I will try to learn to share my heart with you as well. I would feel terrible if I couldn't offer you anything in return for all of this."

He laughs softly, the sound sending my heart racing and setting every nerve in my body on alert. "I'm sure you have quite a lot to offer me, Rei. But I do appreciate it that you're so determined to get this all going in the right direction. I will give you what I can in return and Die... well, Die does everything head-first, so I guess he'll just toss himself into this and we'll see where he ends up, won't we?"

I blush at the implication that heavily coats his first statement as I turn slightly to face him. Once I'm looking in his eyes, he leans in and initiates another kiss. It sends thrills though me that the first one lacked. I feel like a teenager who's never been touched before. I never knew I could feel like this again.

I let myself melt into the kiss and respond to it, my tongue slicking over his lower lip. He allows me entrance and a soft moan leaves my lips as he takes a fistful of my hair and holds me in place. I let him dominate the kiss and he does it so thoroughly that I can't even remember what it's like to kiss anyone but him. Even Die slips from my mind as his tongue delves into my mouth and his body shifts closer to mine.

I don't even think about what I'm doing, I just react. It's been too long since I've even had someone hold me. I turn, trying not to tug my hair too much, as he's obviously not going to let it go. I somehow manage to get my legs untangled from his and I seat myself on his lap, praying I'm not being too bold, but not really caring if I am.

His grip on my hair loosens and then his hands are on my body rather than my hair. His touch feels so good, his fingers skilled and gentle, but at the same time rough enough to show me I'm not going to be the one dominating this. He pushes me so that my ass hits the floor and then I'm on my back and he's hovering over me, a wicked glint in his eyes as he stares down at me. "You really want this?"

I arch against him, showing him just how much I want it. His hips shift forward, pressing back against mine. I can tell he's excited as well and that just heightens the experience for me. "I... I need this."

He moves quicker than I expect and then has my arms pinned over my head as he kisses me even more completely than before. There's something in the kiss that wasn't there a moment ago, a hesitation that's fluttered away with our inhibitions. A dark undertone burns between us and suddenly I understand why I want this so badly. There's a part of me that knows he can give me what no one else has ever been willing to. He holds the power to make something wicked and twisted into something morbidly beautiful.

I kiss him back, my hunger growing by the moment. He rips my shirt, not even bothering to try to get it off of me any other way. I arch into his touch as his fingers skitter across my chest and then lower, dipping lightly over each muscle I've taken such care to refine. His mouth leaves mine and travels down my neck to my collarbone, where he sucks harshly. I let out a moan and he responds with one of his own as he moves to my chest, taking care to give each nipple special attention.

His tongue flicks across my abdomen and I gasp, arching into the light touch of his tongue. Die never did this... and then the thought of the guitarist floats away, Kyo's fingers bringing me back to him as they trace my length through my pants. He pops the buttons open and slides his hand into my boxers, immediately finding my cock and stroking me until I make a pleased mewl.

He moves his lips back to cover mine as he pushes my pants down my legs. I arch up a little to help him, kicking them off once they reach my knees. I spread my legs and he moves between them, his hand stroking me once more.

I can't believe he's doing this. What would Die say if he knew that his lover is going to take me, right here in my own home? Another moan rips from my throat as he pushes a single finger against my entrance, slowly sliding it in. The sting of lack of lubricant starts to burn within me and it sends a thrill through me.

I reach out and grasp his hips, pressing back against him, my movements urgent and needy. He groans, letting his pleasure be known. My hands tug at his belt, loosening it and slipping the clasp open. Then I'm reaching for his jeans, my fingers pushing the button through the hole and yanking the zipper down as fast as I possibly can. I delve my hand inside and grasp his length, loving the feel of the heated flesh against my palm. It's been too long since I could feel someone close to me like this.

His cock twitches in my hand and I smile against his lips as he pumps his finger in and out of me faster. He's so needy, just like me and I can't help but wonder why. He's had Die all these months, why would he be so needy like this?

He pulls away from the kiss for a moment, his breath ghosting over my ear before he licks it lightly. "You look so different without the noseband..."

I smile, but my only answer is to gasp as he brushes my prostate with his finger. The feeling blinds me and I moan low in my throat as he pulls his finger out and presses his cock against my entrance. "Is this how you want it?"

I push myself against him, forcing the head of his cock inside me. I whimper as it stretches me, tearing me. But as the pain burns its way up my spine, I can feel myself getting closer to the edge. This is something I've always wanted. Impromptu sex, the searing pain taking me away.

He pushes his cock in the rest of the way and I scream at the feeling, clutching him close as my entire body shudders beneath him. It feels so right, like he's not just filling me in the literal sense, but figuratively as well. My heart warms, the coldness of the past few months falling away as he begins to move, his rhythm agonizingly slow.

He kisses my neck every now and then as he moves over me. His muscles flex beneath my hands and I feel as though I'm finally loved by someone. I don't even stop to question how I can be loved by someone so fast, because it's not that which truly matters. It's all about how I see things, how my own heart responds. And in that, I realize I return every emotion to the fullest extent possible.

His thrusts become faster and I can tell he's holding back.

I guide his hand to my cock and moan as he wraps his beautiful fingers around me. It doesn't take much effort and I'm gone, my peak coming and taking me away as my release spills over his fingers. He shudders above me and then thrusts into me painfully hard a few times, finally stiffening as his orgasm hits him fast. He thrusts into me lightly, only an inch or so of his cock moving in and out of me as he fills me with his cum.

A breathy sigh leaves him as he shakily pulls out of me and rests on his forearms on either side of me. His head is bowed and I wonder what's going through his mind. Does he regret this already? Or maybe I wasn't enough. Should I be ashamed of the fact that I just had sex with Die's lover?

I dismiss the questions as I raise my arms and pull him down on me, holding him close and simply enjoying the feeling of another body so close to mine. I close my eyes and let the thoughts come and go, just waiting on what I somehow know may come.

Part of me wishes it'd been Die to take me like this, but another part is almost glad that it wasn't. I needed what Kyo gave me... something Die could never provide. A certain twist to it all, just that extra little bit that isn't quite right. I know it's odd to want to feel pain, but I can't help it.

My fingers skim down Kyo's back and he moves just enough to press his lips against my ear. "Do you regret this?"

I shake my head and hold him tight. "Never."

He seems to consider my answer and then lightly kisses me again, his lips bringing a tingling to each place they touch. "Neither do I."

I just go with the moment and allow myself the question from earlier, asking and not really expecting an answer. "How did we end up like this?"

He laughs softly and then nips lightly at my shoulder. "I think you know how."

"That's not what I mean. You seemed just as desperate for this as me... I'm just curious why."

He breathes deeply a few times and then sighs softly. "Because I was."

My brow furrows in confusion. "But, why? I mean... I don't know." I let out a frustrated sound and he rests his forehead on my shoulder for a moment before responding.

"Die and I... we aren't quite... at that point. If you get what I mean."

"What? You're kidding. Die's always just kind of jumped head-first into anything. You mean to tell me that you're not sleeping together yet?"

He snorts a little. "He um... we tried. He kept saying your name and it hurt me so much. I never told him it hurt me, but he just pulled away after that, not letting me so much as touch him. I can kiss him, but that's about it." His pushes himself up onto his forearms and runs his fingers lightly over my chest and abdomen. "Kisses just aren't enough anymore. I've always been someone who needs physical contact to even feel alive inside. I... I didn't mean to push you into this if it's not what you wanted." His eyes meet mine. "I didn't, did I?"

I shake my head. "No. I wanted it just as much. Really, I know how you feel... I'm the same way."

He smiles a little and leans down to kiss me, his lips only lightly brushing over my own.

I lick at his lower lip just as he pulls away and he rewards me with a small smile. "Do you think Die will be mad about this?"

He shifts a little and his lower body rubs against mine, drawing a small moan from me. "Maybe, but I doubt it. Like this, he won't be pestered by me anymore and maybe he'll be more willing to do something, since it'll involve you."

I frown up at the ceiling. "That's so wrong, Kyo. How can he get by without making love to you if he's supposedly _in_ love with you? I'd be so hurt...."

"I am hurt, Rei... I am." He sits up and begins pulling on his clothing.

I follow suit and soon enough we're both clothed again. After a while, I stand up and offer him my hand. He takes it and I pull him into an embrace. "I don't want this to be regretted, no matter how he reacts. Promise me that?"

He nods before stepping out of my embrace and walking to the door, where he slips on his shoes. "Are you coming with me?"

I stand behind him, watching his ass as he tugs his shoe on. When he straightens and turns to look at me, I smile sheepishly at him and he tries to hide a grin.

"Come on." He gestures at my shoes and I quickly push my feet into them, gathering my stuff from the tray by the door and shoving it into my pockets. He holds out his hand and I slip my hand into his. His fingers curl around mine and I shiver as I remember how his finger felt inside me.

He leads me out the door and I lock it behind us, allowing him to tug me down the hall to the elevator. As we leave the building, I realize I'm truly thankful that he came to me. Maybe he can put me back together, piece by delicate piece. A smile curves my lips and I squeeze his hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 50stories 020: Fear  
> Reita POV  
> Song: "ジェネラル" by Nightmare

It's been a month since the three of us came together. And really, this has been one of the best months I've had in a long time. I've been even happier than I was when I was with Die alone. Kyo, despite the side of his personality he shows on stage, brightens everything. He's the glue keeping us all together, I think.

I'm still living alone and they are living together, but that was my choice. Kyo offered the third room in his apartment to me, but I declined on the basis that if this didn't work out, I wanted to still have somewhere to go. Smarter that way.

Really, my only fear is that Die will find out just where Kyo and I slip off to sometimes. Last night we all went to a club and I got... well, I had more than a few beers. I ended up plastering myself to Kyo all night and by the time midnight came around, he was fucking my brains out in a bathroom stall.

It was thrilling. I'd never done it in a public place before. I felt like we could have been caught at any moment. Actually, we almost were. Die came in while Kyo was washing up at the sink and I was still in the stall cleaning myself. But Kyo played it cool and just greeted Die and left the restroom. I waited until he was done taking a piss and then I came back to the table. It's odd how I don't think Die suspects a thing out of the ordinary.

What's worse, I don't think he even realizes how much Kyo and I both want him to just let go and be with us. But he's so uptight... he never used to be like that. I guess saying the wrong name one time can ruin a man's confidence or something. I'm not sure what it'd matter at this point. Maybe that it might still be all about me and he doesn't want to alienate Kyo. But the thing is, he already has.

Tonight we're all just sitting in Kyo's living room, playing video games. Die has a thing for fighter games, apparently. He didn't used to. It used to be all racing games or nothing for him. People change.

Die wins another round and I put my controller down, leaning back on my hands. Before I can even blink, I have a lap full of Kyo. He's grinning down at me and then his lips are pressed against mine.

I moan into the kiss, responding to it as I always do with him. It's odd; he just pulls responses from me, almost without effort. His hand tangles in my hair and I lay back as his tongue invades my mouth. He grinds his hips against me and I push mine back against him, a certain amount of urgency in my actions.

When he pulls away, his eyes are sparkling and there's a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. I glance at Die and his mouth is hanging open, the controller lying forgotten in his lap.

Kyo begins a somewhat steady rhythm, grinding his already hardened cock against me. A moan slips free of my lips and he replies with one of his own as he pushes my shirt up. I pull it over my head and toss it aside. He does the same with his and I lean up, catching his nipple in my mouth and sucking hard.

He pushes his chest closer. My fingers ghost over his skin, lightly tracing the still semi-new tattoo along his left side. He's so beautiful, even covered in ink. And really, that only adds to it. He lets out a low growl and I bite lightly on the nipple, tugging at it with my teeth until his hips snap forward, his arousal pressing against mine.

His breath comes short and fast. "Fuck... I need you, Rei." He reaches between us and quickly begins to unbutton my pants. Once they're open, he pushes them down, his touch so familiar now.

My cock pops free of my underwear and his fingers wrap around it, instantly pumping. I let his nipple go and arch into the touch, letting my head fall back and my eyes meet Die's.

Die's staring at us, biting his lower lip. I breathe his name and he seems to snap out of it, blinking rapidly. "What the fuck?"

Kyo slides off me and removes my pants, pushing them aside as he slides in between my legs and frees his own erection. As he strokes himself with one hand, he caresses my balls with the other. I push my hips up, wanting more of what he's offering me. He pulls his hand away, quickly sucking two fingers into his mouth and wetting them before pushing them inside me.

I arch up hard, moaning lewdly at the feeling. And then he's in me, stretching me, pushing himself as far as he can go. I cling to him, needing this and needing him more than anything at the moment. He begins to move, thrusting in and out of me, his movements already hasty and clearly filled with desire. Our moans mingle in the air.

Kyo's lips attach themselves to my collarbone, sucking hard, marking me. I let my eyes close and I just enjoy him filling me over and over. I can feel his cock so intimately, pressing against my walls and then pulling from my body. I pant his name as his fingers playfully caress my length.

Kyo cries out and I expect him to spill inside me, but he doesn't. Instead he stops and just stays buried in me. I open my eyes to find Die behind Kyo, the movements of his body telling me that he's taking Kyo the way the vocalist is taking me. It takes a minute, but then Kyo's taking me again, his cock slowly drawing out and then plunging back in. His thrusts are twice as forceful and I know it's because of Die behind him. It's almost like being taken by both of them.

That thought hangs up in my mind and I suddenly want them both in me. I pull Kyo close and hold him there, forcing him to stay still as Die fucks him hard. Die's panting, his muscles flexing as he takes Kyo like a desperate man. I know he has to be needy by now, it having been so long since he fucked someone. His thrusts speed up and I rub myself a little against Kyo, watching Die's face, waiting on that moment, waiting on the look I already know so well to appear.

When it does, I can just imagine him cumming inside me and I moan almost in unison with Kyo. I know then that he probably didn't bother with a condom either. I whisper in Kyo's ear, my desire to know making me harder. "Did he fill you with his cum, baby?"

Kyo moans low in his throat and then begins to pound into me. "Y-yes... fuck!" He shudders and I force him to stay still, my legs wrapping tightly around him and my body arching into his.

"Not yet... soon." I glance at Die and he's giving me a questioning look. I smile. "Go get some lube, Die."

He leaves and I let Kyo move a little, relaxing my hold on him just a fraction. He whimpers and I know he wants to cum. "In a minute... I want you both in me."

Die comes back and kneels down beside me. I push Kyo back, forcing him to withdraw from my body. He immediately reaches for his cock, but I bat his hand away, taking the lube from Die and pouring it over him. I run my fingers through the liquid, slowly coating his cock with it. His length twitches under my touch as Die takes the lube from my hand.

Die's slickened fingers press at my entrance. I push back on them, slowly fucking them as I lean in and kiss Kyo, my tongue showing just how greedy I am for more. He moans into my mouth as he thrusts his cock into my fisted hand. I push myself more urgently against Die's fingers and he gets the point, moving behind me and sitting down.

After a minute, he pulls me back onto his lap, impaling me on his cock. I let out a breathy moan as he fills me, the memory of him fading away as the present takes it over. I raise and lower myself on him, remembering how he used to take me over and over, so many times in a row, every single time cumming just as hard as the last. Die... my Die, the man with a special hidden talent.

Kyo moves closer, pushing me back as his lips find mine again. His hands move over me frantically as he forces Die and I to lay back. Die moves a little and I cry out as he stretches me more at this new angle. Kyo's fingers tangle in my hair as he all but sucks my breath from me as he kisses me. His tongue is everywhere, his kisses reminiscent of a teenager so incredibly anxious for the sex part that they forget how to do the rest. I don't mind. It only excites me more to know that this is turning him on so much.

His length presses into me above Die's. The sting grows and I know I'm ripping. I feel like I'm being torn in half, but I never once think to stop this. I want it. Kyo pulls back from the kiss, gasping for breath as he pushes harder against the resistance of my body.

My cock throbs impatiently and I can't help but look down to watch as Kyo penetrates me. The head of his cock slips in and the rest of his length follows smoothly until he's completely inside me. I'm panting hard, flexing my cock so that it presses against Kyo's abdomen harder.

Kyo grins down at me and then grasps my hips hard as he begins to thrust. His moans fill the air at almost the same moment as mine and Die's. Their chorus is beautiful to my ears and I want nothing more than to hear this more often. Kyo's thrusts become harder as he nears his peak; his voice filling my head and the view of his cock disappearing into me is almost too much for me. I clench down hard on them and that's all Kyo can take. A scream rips free from his throat as he explodes inside me. I can feel every subtle thing, as though it's been amplified by a million and his cum has never felt better than it does in this moment.

Die pushes me a little bit toward Kyo and begins to pound himself into me. Kyo's cock slips free, but he still remains, holding me steady. Die strikes my prostate on every thrust and it isn't long before I'm deliriously moaning for more. Kyo's hand wraps around my cock and draws me over that final boundary, bringing me crashing down. My scream fills the apartment as my cum fills his hand.

Die isn't far behind me, the feeling of me cumming driving him further. He moans low behind me as my muscles finally stop spasming. Warmth fills me and I find myself more than pleased that I've been dirtied by them both tonight.

I don't even think about what I'm doing until my hand is wrapped around my still semi-hard length and I'm pumping it frantically, desperate to bring myself off just one more time. I can feel it building inside me and it's a glorious feeling. My muscles tighten, preventing Die from slipping out of me.

My breath comes in short bursts as my hand moves faster over the rigid flesh of my cock. I moan loudly and then I'm there. My dick throbs as my ass clenches hard and a small amount of cum spills from me onto Kyo's abdomen. He leans in to kiss me as I'm coming down and I use the head of my cock to smear it around on him, loving the fact that I'm dirtying him, just as he dirtied me.

Die collapses back against the floor and Kyo and I topple over with him. Kyo's still kissing me, his mouth gentle and sweet against mine. He slips me a little tongue and I return the favor. Die's arms wrap around us and draw us as close as possible.

My ass is throbbing, but it was worth it. Kyo pulls back and buries his face against my shoulder. I hold him close, a smile flitting about my lips.

Tonight... we're finally three rather than two and one.


End file.
